yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
