it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
