I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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