haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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