i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
