He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
