He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
