Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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