on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
