I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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