I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
