Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I need a burrito and a hug.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
