guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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