Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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