Even the bartender felt bad for me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
