the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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