had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
