i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
