My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
