That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
