it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize