i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Who did Billy Mays play for?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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