i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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