All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
