so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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