he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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