Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
false alarm, still single
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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