He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
