I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
