I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize