whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
