she woke up with a sticky ear
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
