There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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