he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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