I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
