Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
