If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
