Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
