Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just found a bag of teeth...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
