Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
