my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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