I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
