I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
