tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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