She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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