I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
