Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
