Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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