One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
