I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
