im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
