I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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