He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize