I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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