I wish my penis had an off switch
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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