I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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