garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
