it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
