I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
