im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
