yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
