i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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